I’m an immature child in a 37 year old body. And I have 2 impressionable boys who are typical boys. I know the warfare that exists on school buses and playgrounds. I can’t remember how old I was when I learned some of these things but I remember finding some hysterical and repeatable and some to be dreadful and humliating. Do I share these with my boys (Ages 6 and 8) to prevent them from humiliation?
I Cup.
The trick of this is to tell someone to spell the sentence “I cup.” which of course yields a humorous response of someone seeing me urinate.
Say Nes Pee over and over again
Of course by concentrating on saying a seemingly gibberish term over and over again you fail to recognize that you are really saying “Penis” over and over again.
Milk, milk, lemonade.
“Milk, milk, lemonade, turn around and fudge is made. Stick your finger in the hole, out pops a Tootsie Roll!”
The saying has hand gestures pointing at every erogenous zone in your body. It’s somewhat accurate in it’s anatomy and sorta gross in it’s relating a poop finger to a popular candy.
What’s the capitol of Thailand?
This is a gag that lures in an unsuspecting smarty pants and then rewards them with a swift kick to the nuts. First ask someone, “What’s the capital of Thailand?”. When they respond “Bangkok!” you kick them in the stones. Funny right? The key to this is even if they don’t know the answer, you can say it and kick them. It works every time!
BOOBLESS on a calculator
This one isn’t as relevant anymore for 2 reasons: Kids don’t use calculators as much any more and kids these days have no idea who Dolly Parton is but the joke was to use a calculator to say
“Dolly Parton’s boobs weighed 69 pounds,
which she though was 2, 2, 2 much.
So she went down 51st street
to see DR. X
he gave her 8 pills…..which left her….
6922251×8= BOOBLESS
The farmer planting seeds in your arm trick
The trick starts with asking a friend if you can show them a joke. You then ask for their arm and proceed to tell a story about a farmer that has to plant seeds in their field. You then pinch their arm. Then they have to plow the fields: scratch their arm…deep. Then the rain comes: you slap their arm with your hands as rain hits the ground. The result: a super red, bloody arm.
How to fold a perfect paper football
This is a rite of passage! You need to know how to fold a tight paper football, kickoff effectively and decide whether your fingers and flick power is good for kicking field goals on the broad side of the paper football or the edge. I’ve seen it work effectively both ways!
What do you think? Let the boys learn these on the bus from other kids? Or control the situation and tell them in a controlled setting before they hear from someone else. Then again, if I tell them, they may be the source that spreads it to your children.
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Gregory Ng
GOAL: Visit 100 National Parks as a family by 2020. Favorite Parks: Zion National Park, Mt Rainier National Park, Valley Forge National Historical Park
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